Saying No When Life Is Busy (And Why It’s Actually Healthy)
We’re often told to be open to possibilities, especially in our 20s and 30s. Say yes. Put yourself out there. Try everything once. And honestly, that advice is not wrong. Being open can lead to meaningful experiences, deeper relationships, and growth.
But somewhere along the way, being “open” can quietly turn into feeling like you’re supposed to say yes to everything. Every invite. Every plan. Every favor. Every date. Every opportunity that lands in your inbox or group chat.
This pressure gets even louder during busy seasons, like fall and spring in New York City, and especially around the holidays. Suddenly your calendar is packed, your routine is gone, and it feels harder than usual to slow down and check in with yourself.
It is nice to be invited. And it’s not a bad thing if your instinct is to say yes. But when yes becomes your default, burnout usually isn’t far behind.
If you’ve been feeling overextended or secretly hoping for an excuse to cancel plans, consider this your sign.
Let’s talk about the power of saying no and why it can actually open up more space for the things that really matter to you.
A Quote to Sit With
“Small boundaries broken, snapped like tiny twigs, so many that June barely noticed he was coming for the whole tree.”
— Malibu Rising, Taylor Jenkins Reid
This quote is about a romantic relationship, but it applies to boundaries in general. Most boundaries don’t get blown up overnight. They erode slowly. A small yes here. A quiet discomfort there. Something you brush off because it feels easier in the moment.
Over time, those small moments add up, and suddenly you’re exhausted, resentful, or wondering how you ended up feeling so stretched thin.
Even when you think you have boundaries, people may cross them without meaning to. And because it happens gradually, it can be hard to catch until you’re already overwhelmed.
That’s usually when a clear, grounded “no” becomes necessary.
How to Say No (Without Overthinking It)
Saying no doesn’t have to be dramatic or cold. A kind, straightforward no is often the most respectful option for everyone involved.
A few reminders:
You don’t need a long explanation. “I can’t make it” is enough.
You don’t need to apologize excessively.
Keep it simple and honest.
If you know the answer is no, responding sooner is usually kinder than waiting.
Most people just want clarity. Once you say no, plans adjust, food orders change, schedules shift, and life keeps moving. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s rarely as big of a deal as we imagine.
What Saying No Makes Room For
When you say no to something that isn’t right for you, you’re not being difficult. You’re being intentional.
Saying no can free you up to:
Finally see the show you’ve been wanting to go to
Catch up with a friend you actually miss
Take yourself on a solo night out or stay in without guilt
Cook, bake, or order your favorite comfort meal
Try a new workout class or skip one entirely
Read, rest, or do absolutely nothing
These moments might seem small, but they add up to a life that feels more aligned and less rushed.
Just Remember
Your time and energy are limited. Some commitments are non-negotiable, but many are optional. Learning to tell the difference takes practice, and it’s okay if it feels uncomfortable at first.
Saying no to someone else’s expectations is often a way of saying yes to yourself.
If building boundaries, self-trust, and agency feels harder than it “should,” therapy can help. At Gluck Psychology Collective, we work with Millennials and Gen Z navigating busy lives, evolving relationships, and the pressure to do it all while still feeling okay.
Therapy is a place to slow down, get honest about what you want, and practice choosing yourself without guilt.
We’re currently accepting new clients. Click below to schedule a free consultation. You can check out our specialties here or schedule a free consult below!
