How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Start the New Year Feeling Grounded

Happy First Monday of the New Year! Let’s Talk About Comparison.

If you woke up this morning feeling motivated, anxious, hopeful, overwhelmed, or all of the above, you’re in good company.

The first Monday of the new year tends to come with a lot of pressure. Yesterday’s Sunday Scaries may have been extra loud. Suddenly everyone is “locked in,” engaged, promoted, glowing, traveling, or announcing their word of the year while you’re just trying to answer emails and remember what day it is.

Here’s the thing we want to start this year with at Gluck Psychology Collective:
You do not need to compare your way into motivation.

Comparison has a sneaky way of disguising itself as inspiration. But more often than not, it leaves us feeling behind, tense, and quietly discouraged before the year has even really begun.

So let’s start here.

Why Comparison Hits Hard at the Start of a New Year

The beginning of the year is a perfect storm for comparison. New goals. New timelines. New expectations. Old insecurities.

You might notice thoughts like:

• “Everyone else seems clearer than I feel.”

• “I should be further along by now.”

• “Why does it look like everyone figured their life out over winter break?”

This isn’t a personal failure. It’s a psychological response to being surrounded by highlight reels at a moment when your nervous system is already scanning for direction and certainty.

Research consistently shows that social comparison increases anxiety, depressive symptoms, and dissatisfaction with life, especially during periods of transition or goal-setting.

According to the American Psychological Association, comparison often intensifies when people feel uncertain about their own progress or identity, which makes early January a prime trigger period.

A Helpful Reframe to Start the Year

One grounding reminder we often share with clients is this:

If you would not trade places with someone’s entire life, you do not get to measure your worth against one part of it.

It is easy to envy someone’s relationship, career momentum, body, or apartment without seeing the full context of their stress, history, responsibilities, or internal world.

Comparison asks you to evaluate yourself using incomplete data. That is not a fair or useful metric.

How Comparison Quietly Steals Your Energy

When comparison runs the show, it tends to create:

• Chronic self-doubt even when things are objectively going well

• Anxiety masked as productivity or urgency

• A sense of being behind without a clear definition of what “ahead” even means

Over time, this erodes motivation instead of building it. You may notice yourself freezing, procrastinating, or constantly changing goals because nothing feels good enough yet.

That is not laziness. That is nervous system overload.

How to Gently Break the Comparison Cycle This Year

1. Curate What You Take In This Month

The start of the year is not the time to flood your brain with content that makes you feel inadequate.

Ask yourself:
Does this make me feel supported, or subtly not enough?

Muting, unfollowing, or taking intentional breaks is not avoidance. It is emotional hygiene. Focus on self-care. Check out our blog on creating your perfect DIY self-care day here.

2. Focus on Direction, Not Timeline

Many people feel behind because they are measuring themselves against imagined deadlines.

Try shifting the question from:
“Am I where I should be?”
to:
“Am I moving in a direction that feels aligned for me right now?”

Direction creates momentum. Timelines often create shame.

3. Build in Offline Reality Checks

Comparison thrives in isolation.

Do things that anchor you back into real life:

• Go for a walk without your phone

• Journal for ten minutes about what actually matters to you this year

• Talk to someone you trust instead of scrolling

Even small grounding habits help interrupt the spiral. Download our free grounding techniques guide here.

4. Practice Self-Comparison Instead

A more useful comparison is internal.

Ask:

• What feels different about me than this time last year?

• What have I learned about myself recently?

• Where am I responding differently than I used to?

Growth is often quiet and nonlinear. That does not make it less real.

5. Use Gratitude as a Nervous System Reset

Gratitude works not because it forces positivity, but because it shifts attention.

A study published by Harvard Health shows that consistent gratitude practices are associated with improved mood and reduced stress levels over time.

Try listing three specific things each day that feel stabilizing or supportive, even if they are small.

Check out our blog for some nervous system resets here.

Starting the Year From a More Grounded Place

If comparison is already loud this year, that does not mean you are doing something wrong. It means you are human, reflective, and likely holding yourself to high standards.

This year does not need to be about doing more or becoming someone else. It can be about learning how to stay connected to yourself while life keeps moving.

If you find that comparison, anxiety, or feeling behind is a recurring pattern, individual therapy can be a supportive place to explore where that pressure comes from and how to relate to it differently.