Gentle Reminders for Eating Disorder Recovery During Holidays and Celebrations
The holiday season looks different for everyone, and can often bring both joy and stressors. Your daily routine might look different, you might be hosting all of your family, celebrating alone, or grieving.
We can sometimes feel guilty for having mixed emotions around a time that’s supposed to be “happy,” but it’s okay to feel this way. Whether it’s loneliness, anxiety, sadness, anger, or something else, these are all valid and normal reactions to a stressful time.
These holidays can especially be challenging if you’re in the midst of recovery from an eating disorder. Whether you find yourself worrying about a comment that a relative might make, or the pressure to eat something you’re not quite ready to partake in, you are not alone.
If any of this resonates with you, we want to offer some gentle reminders to support you and boost your confidence going into this overwhelming time.
Make time for you.
It can be hard to stick to your own schedule and “groove” in the holidays, especially if you’re hosting or staying somewhere as a guest. It’s okay to say no to an activity for some alone time to regroup. Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re a form of self-care. If this feels uncomfortable, try squeezing in small self-care steps, whether that be five minutes of deep-breathing before a meal, journaling when you first wake up, watching your favorite movie at night, or going on a coffee walk in the morning with your comfort playlist. Make time for people and activities that bring you joy.
Try these nervous system resets or journal ideas when you have a few minutes to spare!
2. Offer yourself grace–you don’t need to be perfect.
Maybe you had a reaction that you thought you were over. A “setback” does not mean progress has been undone. Steps backwards are normal and okay–recovery isn’t perfect or linear. Getting back on your feet is what’s important. Remember how far you’ve come and forgive yourself. Sometimes setbacks are out of our control. Maintaining a flexible mindset can help keep the feelings associated with change under control. Whatever you feel is valid–this time can stir up complicated emotions. Try focusing on these feelings without judgement and understanding what they are telling you.
If you notice your mind being hard on yourself for “failing,” ask yourself, what’s something I’m proud of right now, or what exactly am I feeling?
3. Recognize your triggers.
Taking time to reflect on and make a list of potential triggers can help you feel more prepared going into the holidays. This way you are in control and ready for anything. Think of some “I statements” in response to unhelpful comments from relatives or friends, so you feel confident and prepared to set a boundary to protect yourself. It might help to “role-play” these scenarios with your therapist ahead of time.
What feels stressful to you when you think about the holidays?
What do you notice happening in your body–chest tightness, numbness, shutting down–in these situations?
4. Lean on your support system.
No one should struggle alone. Asking for help is a sign of strength, regardless of the season. Whether it’s a relative, friend, school counselor, classmate, or therapist, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. It might help to let someone know ahead of time and see if they can be available, so they can expect to hear from you if needed, and know how to best help you, and you can feel as though you have all bases covered. It might also be tempting to cancel regular therapy or nutritionist appointments around the holidays, but keeping them, if possible, can help to maintain routine and support during a time that might feel extra overwhelming.
Who’s in your support system?
What can you say to them prior to the holidays?
5. Remember your coping skills.
It can be easy to get discombobulated during the holidays, due to a lack of routine and extra stress. Remember what’s in your toolkit, whether that be deep-breathing techniques, coping strategies, or boundary setting. You might be in a new setting, but the tools you’ve worked on are still with you–you might just have to dig a little deeper to get to them. You can also think of this time as an opportunity to practice what you’ve been learning, and see what works and what doesn’t work for you.
What’s in your toolbox that you feel comfortable using?
6. Focus on the positives.
Having a setback or things not going as you planned, doesn’t mean it’s all bad. Focusing on things you’re excited for about the holiday season, or what you’re grateful for can help take energy away from dwelling on stressors or negatives. Maybe you’re grateful for the crisp fall air outside, or the feeling of your fuzzy blanket. Setting a goal each day unrelated to eating can also be helpful–whether that’s catching up with a long-distance friend, driving to your favorite bookstore, or making a card for your grandma. Focusing your energy on this goal can help divert from unhelpful thoughts, and create a new positive association to the holidays.
What are you looking forward to or feeling thankful for entering the holiday season?
What’s a goal you can set?
Final Takeaway
The holidays come with unique challenges. Wherever you are in your recovery journey, you are not alone, and we hope this guide helps you feel more comfortable entering the holiday season. Remember to prioritize your mental health and well-being, be kind to yourself, lean on others, and appreciate how far you’ve come.
Want to do this work in therapy?
Looking for more resources? Check out this free Easy Grounding Techniques Cheat Sheet!
The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD) also offers holiday eating disorder resources and a free anonymous helpline at (888) 375-7767, for non-crisis support.
